eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize