I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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