I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
