Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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