i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
