Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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