just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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