pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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