his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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