she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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