she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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