Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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