he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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