i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
