we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
