she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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