I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
