who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
