I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
