if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
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