is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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