i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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