I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
