Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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