My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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