I am spending my child support on dildos
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
