Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
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