by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When are your genitals available?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So apparently I’m into choking now
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
