he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
