its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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