By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
