so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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