Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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