I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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