remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
