I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I still have a little drunk in my system
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize