do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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