worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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