So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
