i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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