Please, let me fuck your mom
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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