NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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