it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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