so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
