I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
