Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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