I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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