best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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