hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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