I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
