listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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