She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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