dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
