:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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