I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
