So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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