I got chris browned last night
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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