oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
